Mimi Ikonn and "Bingo Theory"

Mimi Ikonn (photo), co-founder of Intelligent Change, and author of the new book The Bingo Theory, talks about a better definition of masculine and feminine. At the end or her piece, Mimi has a quiz to determine your dominant energy and how you can bring it into balance or what she calls a Bingo (based on the newsletter of Five Minute Journal).

Here it's an interviews published on Intelligent Change blog, by Alex Ikonn, June 2016.

* * *

Do you find it hard to sit still and relax? Do you feel lazy and guilty if you aren't constantly working through a to-do list?

Or perhaps your issues are just the opposite.

Is inaction your problem? You love options but can't decide? Do you find it hard to stand up for yourself? Do you constantly doubt yourself?

Stereotypically, the first camp is often associated with being masculine, while the second camp is associated with being feminine. The traditional view of masculine and feminine energy is very black and white. If you are a man, you are considered to be masculine, and if you are a woman, you are considered to be feminine.

But are these stereotypes actually true?

You might be or know women who are more masculine and men who are more feminine. However, this is still not fully accepted in our society and is often looked down upon. Many men feel ashamed for being called a feminine man and women being called masculine. This outdated and inadequate mindset has lead to a tremendous imbalance, both internally in our lives, as well as externally in our world.

Many of us do not embrace the natural strengths that we possess for fear of not being accepted.

A better definition of Masculine and Feminine

The idea of all men being masculine and women being feminine is broken.

Some men and women will fall into the stereotype. There are men with masculine energy being their strength and women with feminine energy being their strength. The traditional viewpoint is still valid.

However, being a feminine man or a masculine woman is not a weakness, it's a strength. Time has come that we learn how to nurture these strengths in ourselves and see them in others.

All of us actually have both of these energies within us.

For years it was believed that men and women's brains are wired differently - the famous 'Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus' idea - but now a growing body of research shows that neurologically we are all a mixture of both masculine and feminine traits.

Professor Simon Baron-Cohen, a psychologist at Cambridge University, believes that we are all on a spectrum between Empathizers or Systemizers:

  • Systemizers are people who enjoy breaking down and analyzing systems, focusing closely on one task - what I would describe as a very masculine energy.

  • Empathizers, on the other hand, are great at empathizing with others and communicating well--which is in line with what I call the feminine energy.

According to Baron-Cohen's research, 44 percent of women have empathizing brains, 17 percent of women have systemizing brains and 35 percent of women have brains that are roughly balanced between the two poles.

So far as men are concerned, Baron-Cohen found that 53 percent of men have systemizing brains, 17 percent have empathizing brains, and 24 percent are roughly balanced. The remaining 6 percent have an extreme male brain.

Apparently, these differences are created in the womb according to how much testosterone you are exposed to as a fetus. Lots of testosterone in your mother's womb causes your brain to develop a Systemized approach to life. Less testosterone in the womb leads to an Empathizing approach.

A unique mosaic of masculine and feminine

A new way of thinking suggests that hormonal differences play a very small part in why we are the way we are. A research conducted on 2015 by Daphna Joel, a professor of neuroscience at Tel Aviv University, has found that we are all a mosaic of masculine and feminine features. Joel analyzed the brain scans of more than 1400 men and women and failed to find consistent differences between the sexes. Instead she found that we are all a unique mixture of male and female features. Her study discovered that between zero and eight percent of people had all male or all female brains. The vast majority of people were somewhere in the middle, showing that gender isn't binary - we are all a blend.

What is your dominant strength energy?

Is it masculine or feminine? Here's a quiz proposed by author that will help you find out: the "Bingo Theory quiz" (external link)

So what does that mean exactly?

As the author has mentioned above, we all have both masculine and feminine energies inside of us. Based on nature and nurture, one of these energies is usually our dominant energy.

In order to live a happy and balanced life internally, as well as externally, I believe we must bring both of these energies into balance. I call that winning combination of Masculine and Feminine Energy a "Bingo".

It's only then that we are able to have healthy, loving relationships with ourselves and others. This includes both personal and business relationships and affects every area of our lives from love and romance to career and physical health.

(the post has been updated from first publication)

studying.jpg

In these days I've finally decided on the type of training and professional update that I will take. By now it was necessary, and couldn't be postponed anymore.
I had many choices in front of me: I was chosing even a new faculty, and I was really interested on Psychology or Educational Sciences. But in the progress to come to a final decision, I went for elimination..

- Psychology at my age is a bit late, I could make a three-year degree (bachelor), but it doesn't create many job opportunities and above all, to do this work seriously serves a full degree and many years of expertise or specialization.

- Same goes for Educational Sciences: it's true, the teaching has become my passion and both a profession, but the only degree that's valid had to be taken before, plus, it's still oriented on the support teacher professional figure. That perhaps is not exactly the most suitable for me, I don't know.

I opted for an international Master of professional specialization, in "Education Leardership, Management and Emerging Technologies" at an online University that's very good. So, you will see me extremely busy for several months from now. This choice goes in two directions to get me advancing in studies, updating my knowledge on arguments of computer science and education, technology and more, and will facilitate my inclusion in teaching in the public service. That sounds good and completes my professional formation in the direction of academic fulfillment.

Looking at 2015

I was quite surprised to receive a series of confirmations that I didn't expect to be all concentrated in the same time. That's a challenge I've to understand better to set a coherent outlook to the new year's organization. In part, that's because in 2014 I have sown much, and as seems, several plans come finally to fruition.
Among them, an advanced course on the PHP language and a series of courses in the MIUR ambit (italian Ministry of Research and University) for public figures, where I'll teach some of the topics in Communication and new media taught in Atheneum's Master, and it will also include elements of cyberbullying, as well as the target of some lessons will be for teens and pre-teens.


Addendum

What was looking like a good choice i the first time, didn't result in this one. So I decided to stop the progress in the above mentioned master and started postgraduating in Information and communication science whereas I could find a perfect syntonization with my passions and needs. 

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by Michael Gerhard Martin*

It's been over a week since Robin Williams killed himself. I loved Mork when I was a kid, and Williams (as Mr. Keating) was one of my idols as a young teacher. I am sorry to hear of his passing, but I wouldn't say I am grieving. After all, I didn't know him. But as someone who struggles with depression, I've found that the media blitz around his suicide has messed me up more than I could have imagined

I had my first thoughts about suicide around the eighth grade. I was bullied at summer camp, which certainly didn't help. Once you contemplate suicide, it's in there forever, a rattling in the attic, a whisper in the ear. The window in an airless room. I survived decades without help, and I'm not entirely sure how.

The songwriter John Prine sang, "Two men were standing upon a bridge/ one jumped and screamed 'You lose!'" Johnny Cash wrote about driving out to some caves, crawling inside one, and waiting there to die. At my worst - and that was hanging out on the Panther Hollow Bridge in Pittsburgh, looking down to the shallow, filthy pond hundreds of feet below -- I berated myself for my cowardice. Come on, pussy - up and over and you don't even have to walk home.

It took a few days to figure out where the creeping dread was coming from, like a rotten potato behind the fridge. Any kind of habitual self-destruction cuts a deep rut in the brain, and I felt the wheels jerk between its walls before I knew what was going on.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with my life - I'm not Robin Williams, but I have a book deal and a good job. I'm happily married and live at the beach. That doesn't matter. While some people might be able to process a news cycle full of suicide, racial violence, and apocalyptic climate change with analytical distance, I've felt personally overwhelmed with hopelessness and shame. And most of all, the constant, graphic reports about Robin Williams' death have haunted me.

For about three days, I'd been exposed to hundreds of news stories, social media posts, eulogies, obituaries, memes, appeals for mental health care, hotlines, media insensitivity and testimonials. Suicide, suicide, suicide, suicide, suicide, like a crossword puzzle with dozens of clues and only one answer, repeated over and over. Until the wheel spins and digs.

Shrinks always ask if I have ever made an "attempt," meaning something that led to hospitalization. I never have. That would have put me in a position where I couldn't do it if I wanted to. There was a time when killing myself seemed the only way I could imagine having control of my life, my mind, myself.



In college I bought a rifle, thinking I would take up hunting with some of the guys. I tried out the steel barrel, to see how it felt under my chin. I got rid of it.

Now, I'm not in any danger. I've responded well to medication and therapy, and eventually Robin Williams and his suffering and his tragic final choice will cycle out of the news, and I'll stop feeling crushing doom every time I read the goddamned word. My suicidal ideations will hang in the doorway, but they won't get in. I've trained like an athlete to fill in that rut. I laugh and say, "I hate my brain!" to avoid thinking "I hate myself." But our media's relentless fixation on Williams' suicide -- not just on the fact that it happened, but on hashing out the gruesome specifics -- has felt deeply inappropriate and misguided to me.

Personally, the only way I've ever been able to process death is through humor. My mother scolded me for cracking jokes at my grandmother's funeral when I was 11. When my friend Aimee was in the hospital to have her gall bladder removed, I drew her a diagram of her intestines populated by spermatozoa, chicken wings and worms.

And in this situation, as hard as it may be, perhaps we should all be cracking jokes ─ memorializing Williams in the way he lived instead of ruthlessly publicizing the terrible way he died. After all, Robin Williams ran from the sounds of mourning; he wanted, profoundly, to hear laughter.

* Michael Gerhard Martin originally published this post on Salon.com on Aug. 23, 2014

Welcome!
I'm a Computer science engineer, postgraduated in Information and communication science. I taught on Communication and New Media at Upra. I founded the magazine BETA and the news agency ITnews, wrote popular guides about blogging and Facebook. I'm technology visionary for the TEDxVDC and a consultant and developer with LGStudio. Contact me, or follow me @lucianog.
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